after James Crews mini poetry retreat
I say a small yes
to writing
to myself as a young woman with passion raging
to myself as a teenager, growing, shrinking, consumed, and lonely
to myself as a child, pigtails & smiles, shirtless and laughing
and all the ways
I was writing always
in my heartspace
in my bodyspace
in my mindspace
all the ways
I was writing always
on my hand, soft with youth
on my napkin, torn with use
on my pages inside all my many books
all the ways
I was writing always
in that lab, thick with rules
in those word docs, filled with clues
in countless emails, rhythmic with my pulse-ing
I honor her
I say yes to her
to all her nuanced thoughts
and layered emotion
her complex feeling
and experiential living
to all her curious wonder
insight and
awe
all of her honored
and honoring
I say yes to her
in ways I never allowed
in ways I never knew how
I honor her now
inside this moment
inside this glittering
gravitational fabric stretching wide
I say yes to me now
to myself now
in all the ways my womanhood
always invites and allows now
these new and ever-unfolding
ways of being human.
I write inside my notebooks in each and every room
as I did before on bits of paper all over the car
as I did when I was young in journals falling asleep in bed
like the days before the internet
and now waking up in texts to friends
I won’t be stopped now
No thing will stop me now
Not him, not her, not them,
not me, not me, not even me, now
not even I, now,
will stop this flooding
circuit inside her conduit
connecting every constellation within reach
to the grounding energetic vibration of my roots
not too much for me, not too much for me
not too much for me
Now
Generous Wisdom | Spacious Heart 